Avatar is a decent movie.  It’s not great because A) it’s way too damn long, B) It doesn’t have enough scenes of things fighting other things, and C) It’s just not that groundbreaking. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I enjoyed it.  I thought it was pretty good for what it was.   But can we just admit that it was a decent sci fi animated film and leave it at that.  Honestly, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was a better movie.  It was funnier.  It was more creative.  It had more heart.  It wasn’t melodramatic.  It didn’t have long, boring segments reminding us that nature is good (a message I do happen to support by the way).  And, of course, Cloudy had Mr. T, who is even cooler than a twenty foot tall battle robot and a space jaguar combined.

Some people think Avatar isn’t good because its story is predictable and cliched.  They’re wrong.  People don’t want unpredictable.  People like cliches.  They think they don’t, but most people would rather watch something that’s safe and easy to understand than anything too radical.  And that’s okay.

Some people think the acting is bad.  It isn’t.

Some suggest that the dialogue is clumsy.  I don’t know about that.  It’s certainly not going to stick with you after the film is over, but it gets the job done.  The mark of truly bad dialogue is dialogue that is quoteworthy.  But what’s there to quote about Avatar?  What line sticks with you after all is said and done?  Nothing really.  So it can’t be that bad because, as a fan of the bad movie genre, I know bad dialogue when I hear it.

Avatar has its flaws.  It’s way too long.  Easily half-an-hour could be trimmed from the film.  But at least Cameron doesn’t overindulge in the slow mo too much.  Although, really, once you’re movie is over two hours, you really shouldn’t be allowed to use slow mo at all.  That should be a law.  Lobby your congressperson today.  Together, we can stop slow mo abuse for a brighter tomorrow.

For me, it’s too long because I’m not really watching the film to get to know the characters.  I already know them.  The natives are nice people.  The invaders are jerks.  Nature is nice.  Shooting people to take their land is wrong.  This is all pretty standard stuff.  Rarely, if ever, is the low tech alien the bad guy.  Whether it’s Ewoks in Star Wars, the natives of Avatar, or even the humans of Independence Day, the guy with the gun and spaceship will always be the villain versus the guy with the spear and space dragon (or fighter jet).  That’s just in the cosmic rulebook, set down before the beginning of time.

The story is fine, but the point of the film, just as in Cameron’s Titanic, is to get to the spectacle.  Titanic is about watching a ship sink.  How do I know that?  Because I’ve never seen Titanic.  But do you know what I have seen a million times?  That scene of the boat going into the water, and that poor guy who falls, hits his head on the railing, and hits the ocean like a dead fish.  I’ve never seen the protagonists kiss.  But I sure as heck have seen that guy fall to his death enough to know it by heart.

That’s why I’m watching Avatar.  I am there to watch a space rhino step on a battle robot.  Or to thrill as a space dragon knocks a hovercraft out of the sky.  It’s outer space, and outer space is supposed to be filled with cool stuff like that.  Avatar delivers on that, but it takes too long to get there.  By the time it happens, I’m almost too bored to care.  Maybe that’s just me though.

As for my final criticism, I’m just going to suggest that Avatar isn’t groundbreaking.  It’s a friggin’ cartoon!  It’s Tron with a bright new coat of paint.  It’s Monsters Inc with a few live-action people thrown in to make it seem legitimate.  But if you consider that 95 percent of what you see on that screen was created via animation, then you have to admit that this qualifies it as a cartoon.

I like cartoons.  That’s no secret.  I think animated films have consistently been some of the highest quality, most underappreciated films of the last few years.  I’d be plenty cheesed if Avatar scored a nomination and Up didn’t.  But Up did, so my rage is quieted.  For now…

Avatar is a cartoon that doesn’t have the guts to be a cartoon.  See Beowulf for another great example of a cartoon that refuses to take the label, even though it’s even more of a cartoon than Avatar.  Still, as a cartoon, Avatar isn’t groundbreaking.  Many recent animated films have succeeded in creating ultra realistic environments that can fool the eye.  The scenery in Kung Fu Panda is breathtaking.  The ruined earth of Wall-E is almost indistinguishable from the real thing at first.  And even the largely forgotten Surf’s Up(that surfing penguin movie that’s better than most people give it credit for) has a lush, tropical island environment that I found every bit as inviting and beautiful as anything on Pandora.  The only difference between Avatar and these films is that one hobbles itself with realism while another takes full advantage of its limitless possibilities.

Avatar is a good film, but it isn’t unique.  It isn’t even particularly original in what it accomplishes.  It’s just a good animated film, and that’s a worthy accomplishment.  But, all things considered, I’d rather watch the latest Justice League direct-to-DVD movie (“Crisis on Two Earths” is fantastic and highly recommended by this humble writer) than sit through a film like Avatar that ends up taking itself a little too seriously.  Both movies create fantastic worlds.  Both tell larger than life adventures.

But only one has a man dressed like a bat fighting a man dressed like an owl for the fate of the universe and has the bravado and integrity to do so without apology.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

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