Fight Club was on cable last night. Despite having seen it more times than I can count, I settled in for another viewing. What can I say? It’s hard to resist Ed Norton and Brad Pitt and fighting and witty dialogue and clever plotting all in one.

The other reason I watched it again is my next book, The Mage in Black (out April 1), contains an homage of sorts to Palahniuk’s brainchild in the form of a Demon Fight Club. I think we can all agree the idea of watching two demons beat the crap out of each other is wholesome entertainment for the entire family. Or it’s unwholesome entertainment for those twisted enough to enjoy my books. You’ll have to read it and let me know which.

Anyway, because my brain is an interesting place, thinking about these two fight clubs led me to another permutation: Author Fight Club.

I’ll give you a moment to let the awesome sink in. Don’t worry. Take your time. Makes your brain happy, right?

Literary history is filled with famous feuds between authors. Perhaps you’ll recall my own scandalous altercation with one Nicole Peeler, whose totally self-aggrandizing account of the brawl can be found here. Up until now I have refrained from discussing the incident on the advice of my attorney. Also I seem to be suffering some long-term memory loss from the cheap shot Dr. Peeler foisted upon me with a metal chair. But I digress.

For the most part, the days of author-on-author violence have sadly dwindled into random verbal skirmishes in hotel bars during conventions or, even more pedestrian, passive aggressive snarkfests on twitter. But I think we need to resurrect the good old days where true catharsis was found in bloodied noses and split lips. Instead of book tours, publishers can host cage matches. The combatants will be chosen from the house’s stable of authors. Or better yet, publishers can hold cross-promotional events wherein they pit their bestsellers against each other. Naturally, editors will referee the matches and reviewers will provide the color commentary.

What say you Orbit fans? What authors would you like to see duke it out in the ring?